Mystic Mag Interview February 17, 2023

I had a wonderful opportunity to reflect on my work thanks to this interview with Mystic Mag. Here is the post: https://www.mysticmag.com/psychic-reading/eileensendrey-interview/

Connect Your Mind And Body With Eileen Sendrey

Today, Mystic Mag had the opportunity to interview Eileen Sendrey, Holistic Healer who kindly agreed to share some information about her career, work, and what she loves most about her profession.

When did you first know that being a healer was your calling and how did it come about?

When I look back into my early life I can already see the natural capacities for empathy, nurturing and wanting to serve. From the time I was a young woman, even strangers tell their stories to me and share their pain. From a young age, my role-models were spiritual leaders and humanitarian activists. Learning Breema, massage, biodynamic craniosacral therapy and yoga starting 30 years ago began to give shape to more intentional practices that started as hobbies and led into my profession. The practice of Breema taught me how to include myself in the care and nurturing I give to others.

Even in my 20’s I had a felt sense of a calling to support children in some way. Once in the healing arts, this led me into prenatal and infant massage, teaching prenatal yoga and connected parenting classes. In 2012 I discovered the field of pre and perinatal somatics, which connected all of my tools, experience and understanding to support individuals, couples and families with infants, children and teens.

What services do you offer?

I am a Pre-and Peri-Natal Somatics Educator and Practitioner, Registered Craniosacral Therapist, a Castellino School Approved Womb Surround Facilitator and Breema Instructor and Practitioner.

In my practice, both in person in Santa Cruz, CA and on Zoom with clients worldwide, I work with adults, individually and in groups and families with babies, children and teens. I help individuals and families understand how early traumatic events impact them in the present and support them in their intentions for health. To support connected families I offer classes for parents and professionals (teachers and in the health field) in person and on-line. The intention of the work is to restore connection to individual health as well as the thriving of the family system.

What are the main benefits of alternative healing/therapy compared to conventional medicine?

A true ‘Holistic Healer’ nurtures each individual’s own inner guidance system and the path to health for each person looks different. There are so many tools in both “natural therapies” as well as in the “modern medical model.” In “alternative healing” we support someone to begin with less invasive methods, like lifestyle changes, nutrition, etc. before the highly invasive medical options; while, at the same time, recognizing that modern medicine, used in an attuned way, has its place in the continuum of health care.

My work is based on the recognition that our body is more than muscles, connective tissue, bones and organs. We exist in many layers of physical anatomy, mind, emotions, subtle energy; even further, in connection to living family, our deceased ancestors, local community and nation; and, finally, in relationship with nature, the planet, as a drop in the ocean of totality of existence, in whichever way each of us connects with essence, spirit or intelligence of life. Each individual has an inner guidance system to their own optimal health; To heal, we must gain to gain deeper understanding of the balance needed between stability/strength, fluidity/flexibility and clarity/understanding to support a direction toward health.

What can a person expect from your sessions?

Whether I am seeing someone in person or on Zoom, I begin with a moment for everyone to settle with some practice to be present, connecting mind and body. Then a check-in to find out how each person is coming into our session and what their intentions are for our work together. Since my modality is a somatic therapeutic work I help them discover how their trauma history shows up as a felt sense of themselves (mentally physically and emotionally) and interrupts healthy impulses in the present. My daughter calls me the “baby whisperer” because I help newborns tell their stories and connect and settle with their parents. I have a play room where I support toddlers, preschoolers and older children to tell their stories through play and heal early non-optimal experiences. I help parents understand how their early challenges impact how they parent today and support transformation of that. The adult work is individually, with couples and in group work called “Womb Surrounds” where, again there is a discovery of intentions for health for each person and the challenges around those intentions that stem from early life and the formation of the self. I help people differentiate from their history and discover and experience new possibilities of how to be in life and connect in relationship with others. I still do some work on the table as a craniosacral therapist, mostly with infants.

What is the most important detail in maintaining a relationship of mutual trust with clients?

When I first meet a client I never hold the expectation that they should trust me. I work with a client base that has experienced emotional and physical abuse, betrayal and many different kinds of trauma. There is a good healthy reason they might not trust me. I let them know that it is my job to earn their trust. I negotiate contact in an attuned way, support choice and self care and make repair promptly if there has been mis-attunement or I missed them in some way

What do you love most about your profession?

I LOVE my work and can’t imagine a day I don’t do it. This work supports connections — both to self and others. When individuals feel connected in this way, they make choices that nurture themselves, others, collective humanity and the earth. With ease and pleasure there are so many ways for me to help individual and collective transformation. Every day this work grows my heart and I feel energized and satisfied at the end of the day.

What is a Healthy Autonomic Nervous System and Why Does it Matter for Babies, Children and Adults?

What is a Healthy Autonomic Nervous System?

Why Does a Healthy Nervous System Matter?

What is the Effect of Trauma on the Health of the Nervous System, Particularly When it Occurs to an Infant & Young Child?

Who is Tracking the Health of the Nervous System…

…in Babies & Children?

…and Adults?

There is so much to say about this topic and this has become a flourishing science since the 1990’s — in 1990 president George Bush declared it the “Decade of the Brain.” Developments in the understanding of neuro-science are impacting therapeutic models in psychology and medicine.

Simply stated, a healthy Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) is one which is flexible and resilient in the ever changing states we experience between relaxed, settled states of safety and healthy responses to manageable stress and danger. The health of the nervous system affects physical health, immune function, motor function, capacity to settle/regulation, ability to learn and attention. A flexible responsive nervous system responds accurately in the present moment — able to settle and relax, engage in dynamic energetic activity and in difficulty, seeking help or engaging in flight/fight response when I danger…. And then back to settled state, particularly with support of others, when challenge/danger has passed.

In the development from conception to infancy through childhood into adulthood, attentive and responsive parents (and guardians) are aware of, acknowledge, reflect and empathize with the child through the feelings and responses of lived experiences. A child who feels protected and safe and connected and attached to parents, develops an internalized resilience in the face of difficulty, knowing that they can withstand and then move forward from those challenges. They have the capacity for joy, play, curiosity and creativity both in relationships and alone.

Trauma, particularly early, during the time of conception, pregnancy, birth and the baby’s first two years, can interfere fundamentally with how we are wired; thus affecting mental, emotional and physical function (including immune function, motor function, capacity to settle/regulation, ability to learn and attention). Because our experiences before the age of two are pre-cognitie and pre-verbal parents and guardians, and eventually ourselves as adults, assume post-traumatic anxiety, anger, dissociation, freeze, shock states, disorganization, etc are somehow inherent to who we are and not just natural responses to overwhelming experiences. Many people are able to recognize trauma in disasters, war, violence, famine, etc. but not as aware that events like sudden loss of loved ones, depression of parent and many standard modern birth and infant rearing practices (including the routine procedure of circumcision) can leave a lasting life-long imprint. With the flourishing field of many teachers, social workers, medical and mental health professionals (even Oprah Winfrey) becoming interested in the effect of early trauma, many innovative methods for evaluating children and adults are emerging, developing trauma-informed approaches to healing and learning.

With the health of the brain and nervous system being so central to the wholistic well-being on so many levels, the questions are:

 “Who is tracking the changing states, particularly in babies who don’t have words to tell us what is happening for them?”

“If we understand those states, what can we do to support babies and children?

Answering those questions begins with understanding “what do babies need?” And “what do children need?” Both in modern western medicine and the mental health field we are just beginning to acknowledge and understand the importance of meeting the emotional needs of the infant in responsiveness and physical nurturing/contact as foundational to the development of healthy sense of self on all levels. (For more on this you can read Allan Schore: What is the “Self”?) Solutions range from education and mental health support for parents wanting to conceive and pregnant, educating birth and medical/mental-health professionals, the ability to identify and track non-optimal nervous system states in parents and infants/children at many stages and developing systems and protocols for addressing issues at the root causes. For example, at birth we have APGAR scores for infants to evaluate many physiological markers of the child but there is generally no or little attention given to stress levels, distress and shock.

Fortunately this is a growing field of study and understanding and in the culture (and world) at large (even in TV, movies an other media) more attention is being given to the emotional experience of people of all ages. This innovation ranges for more attention being given to support programs of children from 0 to 3 as well as strategies to evaluate and identify children (and adults) with trauma to therapeutically address this in a wholistic way. Check out Nadine Burke Harris’ TED talk on “How Trauma Affects heath Across a Lifetime.”

At this point I want to turn to my work and offerings to this end. If you browse my website and receive my newsletter you can see my offerings that address the needs on many different levels:

• Public on-line parenting classes, particularly for parents planning to conceive, pregnant or with infants and toddlers.

• Presentations or workshops for teachers, birth and health professionals or groups of parents

• Two-week summer Intensive in Bellingham, WA and Professional Training in Massachusetts

• Private sessions with families with infants, children and teens to support intentions for health and challenges

• Private sessions with adults

• Group work for intentions of health and integrating and transforming early trauma in the Womb Surround process Workshops

I feel great passion in sharing the information and understanding about healthy conception, pregnancy, birth and post-birth as well as real ways for health and healing for those experiencing the effects of trauma. If you don’t see what you’re looking for in what is offered in my schedule, I’d be happy to come up with a program for individual and group needs.

9 Months to Grow a Baby... and to Develop into a New Parent

Whether a pregnancy is hoped for and planned or unexpected with uncertain feelings, the nine months of pregnancy are a time to both gestate a baby and to grow into the role of a parent. It is very natural, particularly for a first-time parent, to feel nervous and unsure in anticipating changes in family relationships and responsibility of parenthood. It is also natural for parents to feel extra motivation to learn and transform into exactly the right parent for the baby (or babies) on the way. Every one of us has the an innate, built-in capacity for healthy parenting; AND every parent benefits from support in discovering their own strengths and challenges.

Welcoming the New Arrival

At the very foundation of safety and connection for a baby (and really people of all ages) is the felt sense of being welcomed. A sincere open-hearted welcome becomes woven into the very fabric of a child’s sense of self and allows them to settle into relationships and self-discovery as they grow, eventually into adulthood. In some cases either because the pregnancy was unexpected and not at first wanted or because of the parents’ own challenging history, parents may need support in coming into new relationship with themselves, their partner and the new baby. Even with challenging beginnings, through self discovery and understanding, transformation and repair can happen.

Understanding and Transforming What We are Bringing into Parenting from Our History

During pregnancy parents begin to discover who they want to be as a parent as well as the imprinting from their childhood which gets in the way of making choices, different from their own parents. Particularly in stressful situations the first reaction may be exactly what we swore we’d never do. Pregnancy is a very fertile time for improving diet and other forms of self care as well as engaging in some form of therapy to understand how challenging history affects us and how to become the parent we intent to be in the present.

Previous pregnancy loss, whether through miscarriage or abortion, the death of a newborn or giving up a child for adoption, can bring a layer of grief that can affect the quality of connection with a new baby in the womb. Feelings of loss are natural and it’s helpful to seek help in differentiating the feelings for the lost baby from the connection and love for the new one coming in.

Learning to Listen — to Ourselves, Our Partner and Baby

There are so many teachers, books and videos with parenting information and techniques — it’s easy to accumulate many facts but still feel confused about right choices. Feelings of ‘not doing it right’ or falling short of perfection increase tension and confusion. Some basic information and insight into the experience of others is helpful but much more valuable is learning ‘listening,’ not just with our ears but with our body and heart. The majority of how we listen and respond to others, especially babies, is through non-verbal cues that we receive through our somatic awareness. This quality of ‘listening’ can be cultivated through intention and attention.

Creating Layers of Support

During pregnancy the mother’s body is the baby’s ‘outer body’ and through her responses the baby is already taking in the qualities of the world around them. When the mother is relaxed and happy that becomes the baby’s experience as well. Babies thrive when parents create layers of support with each other, extended family and a strong sense of community. Inadequate support for the parents causes tension and a felt sense of scarcity which can become the basis of that baby’s belief system growing through childhood into adulthood. Pregnancy is a great time to cultivate connections and discover and transform mental/emotional blocks to receiving support.

As I look back at my own years of parenting a (now adult) child, from this vantage point I can see all the things I wish I had done differently but also all the healthy natural impulses. From both my own experience and my training I endeavor to give families support I wish I had had myself (particularly to reflect all that I was doing right). In my profession I work with individuals and families to heal and transform effects of trauma and belief systems which no longer serve intentions in the present. Some of the ways I support parents for a healthy happy pregnancy and preparing for birth.

• Classes & Private Sessions for individuals and couples to prepare for birth and parenting;

• Pre-natal Craniosacral Therapy and Massage;

• Somatic Trauma Healing — Understand, integrate and transform effects of trauma to feel more connected and safe in partnership and parenting. Healing trauma can help facilitate relaxed natural birth.

• Breema and Self Breema Classes to learn to be more present in one’s body and life

Connection and Health Begins Before Conception

In my practice I work with individuals and couples at all stages of parenthood. Bringing awareness and intention to conception is sometimes overlooked… unless there is difficulty in conceiving. All new babies coming in benefit from being welcomed before conception, during the pregnancy and during the birth and after. Many traditional cultures have ceremonies and protocols for welcoming new life; through my sessions with families I help them find their own way to create that welcoming space. It is delightful and surprising when couples are successful in conceiving after they have worked out unresolved mis-attunement and disharmony with each other, job stresses and other mental and emotional challenges to create a space for a baby to come into

Babies coming into life can relax and settle into love and safety if they can feel their parents working together in mutual support and cooperation. When there is a strong “village” supporting the parents, first the parents and then the baby can relax even more. Pre-conception is a great time for parents to understand, integrate and transform some of their own wounds and survival strategies no longer needed — to learn how to give their children the connection and safety they may have not received themselves. Pre-conception and pregnancy are a great time to find motivation for transformation.

My work is based in the recognition that infants and children are fully sentient beings expressing preferences, wants and needs and are storing memories somatically from even before conception. The sperm, the egg and the DNA contained in them store the memory of experiences of the ancestors and parents. Parents’ attitudes and experiences in the months leading into conception are formative for the baby.

Many of us were not welcomed and planned and are conceived into anger, grief, overwhelm and adversity. Making repair in family relationships is important for a felt sense of connection and safety but this understanding is often not extended to the pre-born and infants. I work with parents at all stages, through conception to birth and after, to make repair with each other and  their little one. Adversity, mis-attunement and ruptures are a normal part of the human experience. A loving protective parent who knows how to regulate and make repair can become a healthy buffer for the child to build resilience for the challenges they will experience in life. In my work with families I have been pleased to help parents “listen” to the stories of their babies and children and their emotions about those experiences.

In the time of pre-conception/conception the following are some adverse/challenging experiences the effects of which can follow us into adulthood, in relationships, in our capacity to learn, in self-regulation and physical and emotional health (or lack of health):

• Unresolved feelings of parents from a previous pregnancy loss

• Anxiety, grief and loss from the death or serious injury of a family member or close friend

• Anger fear and ambivalence of one or both parents upon discovery of the pregnancy

• Ongoing overwhelm, anger, anxiety and depression of one or both parents

• Discord and abuse in the relationship of the parents

• Difficult medical procedures, particularly for the mother

No parent is perfect and no humans experience a life without adversity but we can have an intention to be a “good enough parent” through self reflection, understanding our own trauma and triggers and seeking help in transforming our own parenting. Each family establishes their own choices and values — my work is to support connection and safety.

Through private sessions, Womb Surround group workshops and classes with individuals, couples and families, my intention is to create a safe non-judgmental space where adults and children can feel the “welcome” they want and deserve. Together we help transform challenges to more connection and mutual support and cooperation.

Visit www.eileensendrey.com to find out more about private sessions in my office, classes and workshops. I offer on-line classes available for parents and care-givers world-wide.

I Want to be More Present in My Life -- What Does that Mean? How do I Do That?

I want to be more present in my life;

I want to be more present with myself;

I want to be more present with my family and friends;

I want to be more present at work or school.

What does that mean? How do I do that?

Presence is the matrix through which we experience all aspects of our human experience. It is fundamental to all relationships with oneself, family and friends, work-life, a sense of meaning and purpose in life and connection to community, nature and to the divine. When we are “present” our mind body and feelings are working together in alignment and we experience more peace and clarity. Without presence we don't know that we actually exist, nor do we have access to any real information or understanding of what is happening with ourselves or anyone else. Anyone who cultivates presence in their own life and work can, with acceptance, empathy and understanding, relate to others more easily.  

How do I learn what it feels like to be present?

Presence is something that needs to be experienced directly. I can’t tell you what it feels like, just like I can’t tell you the taste of chocolate by describing it. The reason I practice Breema is that it gives me a straightforward, commonsense approach to learning what it feels like to be present and how to return to that over and over again. The reason I teach Breema is to offer that same opportunity to others. As a teacher, I also benefit from the structure of the class and the participation of the students for my own striving to be more present. Sticking with the practice has increased my capacity to stay with and come back to an experience of this moment. 

Some of us - like artists, gardeners, athletes, mountain climbers, worshipers in prayer, etc - feel present in activities we love and become fully absorbed in. Outside those moments how do I learn to be present in every day life?

There are some activities in which we become fully attentive and absorbed with a feeling of presence seemingly given to us. The great thing about learning Breema is that I don’t need to feel like I’m “in the flow” or happy or satisfied to move in that direction. Breema offers a well-organized, step-by-step, complete system to cultivate an experience of presence and health and how to become less identified with our unconscious reactive states. Although in the beginning it helps to be in a class setting where we can focus on learning the Principles and the method, eventually we can learn to be present anywhere in any mental, emotional and physical state.

If I don’t identify myself as a New Age type does this still pertain to me? If I view myself as a “practical type” why should I spend my time, money and energy in learning how to be more present?

Bringing mind body and feelings together in the present moment is ultimate efficiency. I’m not wasting energy with all parts of myself battling with and disconnected from each other. I have more energy, clarity and receptivity. As I begin to include myself, whether it's personal or professional setting, it becomes the starting point for receptivity within my day-to-day activity. Receptivity connects physical outer experience of relating to other human beings and information to an inner world of understanding and cultivated wisdom. In such moments, through openness and understanding one can know exactly what is needed in the moment. This moment can be a one of innovation and creativity where everything learned in the past can be synthesized into a new form, perfect for what is needed just then.

If I am interested in improving my physical health, how does presence support me?

Much of modern western medicine and psychiatry is based in acute crisis and symptom management. Understanding the essence of health requires an approach which includes a whole view of a human based in knowledge and understanding ranging from a rich history of mankind exploring consciousness up to the very latest advances of modern science. No aspect of health can fully be understood in separation from the whole. The study of Breema, and its emphasis on body mind connection and presence helps us, in all healing modalities to integrate this rich, ever developing, reservoir of information and understanding in the moment to have receptivity and insight into what is needed in the moment to support true health.

The practice of Breema helps us with inner organization of our mind and feelings and relaxation of the body toward presence and harmony in all aspects of our lives. Whether one participates in a Breema event once, or more ideally, on an ongoing basis we can benefit by gaining understanding of ourselves and fundamental principles of health. I invite you to come to class in Morgan Hill to discover how you can benefit. My next class is this Thursday, October 24, 2019. Click my Classes Calendar for more details. For more articles and information about Breema worldwide visit www.breema.com.

The Child Who is Not Embraced by the Village Will Burn it Down to Feel its Warmth -- African Proverb

As someone who works with people to integrate and heal early developmental trauma I've been pondering the increasing number of mass shootings that seem to be plaguing our country. Many of them are young men, loners, sometimes swept into some ideology that really makes sense to them, without the reflection and support of calmer. older and wiser influences. Particularly since one of these shootings happened in my own part of the world I have felt so heartened by the way people are supporting each other, tracking those who might need help and coming together to heal as a community.

... and then there is the question of how to address the problem? There are calls for stricter gun laws... that is probably a good idea. There is talk about mental illness and how to deal with potentially dangerous people off balance finding their way to firearms... but the truth is that the problem and solution are much more complex and nuanced than we can address talking fast at each other, not listening and reacting. In fear an anger we are trying to figure out whose fault is this? Who do we shame and punish? Unfortunately our rush to shaming and punishing (and defensiveness that ensues) impedes our ability to really to check in with what the larger issue is and possible ways to address it wholistically.

There is an African proverb: "The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth" 

Mass shootings are part of a larger spectrum of social issues stemming from young people who don't feel safe, loved/connected and who aren't being initiated into a wisdom culture led by trustworthy elders, tracking each child in the village. We have meticulous ways we track academic performance but who is tracking the state of each child's nervous system, social development and the care of their soul. This can't be the responsibility of the parent or teachers alone. As humans we aren't designed for families being so alone, disconnected from the village.

In small pockets there are parents seeking out teachers and healers that are reviving rites of passage for young people and creating networks of support. Young people need to be tracked and guided to be able to use their passion and fearlessness constructively instead of destruction. The question for all of us is how do we listen to these children and all children with our hearts and embrace all children as our children? How do we slow down and create enough space in ourselves to be able to really listen to and find effective ways to create support for families who need help?